Undetected Guests
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Magneto sends the Acolytes on a mission to go bug the X-Mansion, which they plan to accomplish in more ways than one.


**Undetected Guests**

"Alright you lunatics. Listen up," Magneto growled at the assembled Acolytes as they stood at attention in the Control Room. "It has been far too long since you've done anything remotely useful around here so I'm sending the whole lot of you out."

"Yes!" Pyro cheered excitedly. "It's about bloody time!"

"Yeah, we've been going stir crazy from being stuck in here," Remy agreed.

"Like that's an accomplishment," Sabertooth grunted.

"Maybe we can go visit the Natural History Museum or the zoo?" Piotr suggested.

"Forget it you idiots! I'm sending you out to **work**, not play in the sandbox at the local playground!" Magneto shouted. "You are to go to Xavier's mansion, place surveillance devices in all strategic locations and tap every form of communication that runs in or out of the place. And you are to do it all **without** getting caught or being suspected!"

"Uh, won't Xavier sense us the minute we go near the place?" Pyro asked hesitantly. "Being a telepath and all that?"

"That will not be a problem. Charles is out of town attending a conference this weekend," Magneto replied.

"How do you know that?" Piotr asked.

"Because there was an article about it in the paper," Magneto snapped and handed out a bag containing the surveillance equipment. "Now get going!"

"Why do we have to go now? Why don't we just wait until dark and plant all the stuff while everyone's asleep?" Remy asked. "Heck, I could take care of it all myself."

"No fair! I wanna go too!" Pyro whined.

"Silence! **All** of you are going out!" Magneto ordered. "It'll be good exercise and should challenge your abilities of infiltration."

"I doubt it," Remy snorted confidently.

"I suppose it will be a good opportunity to practice some of the stealth skills we have been working on," Piotr sighed.

"Yeah! This will be fun!" Pyro giggled.

"Not to mention a way to get you all out of my hair for a few hours," Magneto mumbled to himself.

"What did you say?" Remy asked.

"I said you all better take care with your powers," Magneto snapped. "I don't want there to be any instances of claw marks, glowing walls or animals made out of fire to indicate that any of you were around. GOT IT?"

"Yes sir," Pyro gulped.

"Good. Now shut up and get it done," Magneto gave them one last glare before leaving the room intent on breaking open a new bottle of aspirin.

"Man, what's up with him?" Remy grumbled at Magneto's behavior. "He's acting even more overbearing than usual."

"Who cares? At least he is letting us get out of the base for a while," Piotr said.

"Yeah. Too bad the job isn't going to take very long," Remy sighed. "It'll be a little tougher than doing it at night, but it's still gonna be a cakewalk."

"Maybe if we finish early we can go someplace else for a while," Piotr suggested as they headed toward the garage.

"Hey, I got an idea!" Pyro grinned mischievously. "Instead of just going and bugging Xavier's place, how about we have a little fun there as well?"

"Fun?" Remy looked at him a second before catching on. "Oh, yeah. **Fun**. That's a great idea!"

"Alright! Let's go prepare a few things and head out. Whoo hoo!" Pyro ran off to gather supplies while laughing manically.

"Uh oh," Piotr gulped. "What are you two planning? Remember what Magneto said about not getting caught?"

"Don't worry _homme_. They won't be in any condition to catch us," Remy grinned. "Not after we're done with 'em."

* * *

One hour later…

"Okay, we're clear," Remy reported as the Acolytes finished dropping over the X-Mansion's outer wall without being detected. Piotr and Pyro each wore tactical vests filled with equipment while Remy's and Sabertooth's supplies were tucked away inside their usual trench coats. "Let's split up. Sabertooth, you stay out here, find a junction box and tap their landlines. Then check the roof for any antennas or satellite dishes to bug. And make sure to set up the other stuff too. The rest of us will find a place to sneak in and cover the inside."

"You don't have to tell me what to do," Sabertooth growled. "I was off doing this type of basic stuff before your father was in diapers. So get moving and don't do anything stupid!"

"Same to you mate," Pyro quipped as he and Piotr followed Remy toward the mansion. "Hoo-roo!"

"Insolent little idiots," Sabertooth grumbled as he set to work.

Remy easily lead Piotr and Pyro to one side of the mansion by sticking to the woods and using it as cover from both the security cameras and anyone who might be gazing out a window. The woods ran right up to one wing of the mansion where Piotr and Pyro huddled beneath a window while Remy carefully inspected it for alarms.

"Well?" Pyro prompted impatiently.

"There. No problem," Remy smirked as he bypassed the window's sensors and tested to make sure the window opened silently. "We have an entry point."

"Great," Pyro grinned excitedly.

"I can not believe how simple it still is to break in here," Piotr said having watched Remy work. "With all the defenses around you would think it would be much harder."

"Please," Remy waved disdainfully. "The security system they have here is a joke. It's the same thing they had when we broke in to set up pranks for April Fool's Day."

"Yeah. We went in during broad daylight and didn't trip a thing," Pyro added. "Xavier must have gotten completely dudded when he bought this pile of junk."

"No kidding," Remy shook his head disappointedly. "There's no sensors on the outer wall, the sensors they do have are in plain sight, all the cameras point away from the mansion with none towards it, and everything is probably monitored by an overgrown computer who's only command is 'Shoot anybody who is stupid enough to come in announced and through the front door' instead of an actual person. This whole place is wide open."

"Hey, as long as it makes it easier for us I ain't gonna complain," Pyro said as he and Piotr cleaned off the outside of their boots and slipped on pairs of rubber gloves. "Let's go."

"Okay," Remy quickly glanced to make sure no one was in the room and eased the window open. "Remember, stay out of the lower levels. There are cameras there. Split up and cover this floor. I'll meet you guys back outside."

"Aren't you coming in with us?" Piotr whispered as Pyro went in through the open window.

"Na. I'm gonna go check out their garage first. Besides, I got my eye on another way in," Remy winked indicating an upper balcony. "Catch you _hommes_ later."

"Okay," Piotr nodded as Remy silently slipped away. Piotr quickly squeezed through the window and closed it. Then he began to creep around and examine the room for a good place to plant bugs. Pyro had already sneaked away and gone further into the mansion.

The room they had initially stuck into turned out to be Xavier's study. Piotr reached into a pocket of his tactical vest and pulled out two of the several dozen listening devices Magneto had given them. Each device was about the size of a penny, black, flexible and fairly thin. Placed under a chair, between some books or even on a dark colored wall they were almost undetectable. Piotr stuck one device beneath a wall-mounted candle holder using a bit of superglue and placed the other near the fireplace before moving on.

Farther away Pyro was venturing down a long hallway, occasionally sticking one of the many goodies he carried to the walls while keeping alert for X-Men. _Oh boy! This is great! I can't wait to set this stuff off and…huh?_ Pyro heard voices coming from up ahead. _What's that? _He slowly tiptoed up and peeked around the corner.

"Turn it back to the other channel!" Ray snapped as he and Roberto sat on the couch facing the TV. "I was just in the middle of a movie!"

"No way! You've been here for the past hour! It's my turn now!" Roberto shot back. "I wanna watch cartoons!"

"You are a cartoon! And just as stupid looking as one!" Neither boy noticed Pyro slip into the room and creep up behind them.

"At least I'm not as dumb as one! Unlike you, you stupid…uhhh," Roberto trailed off as he and Ray drifted down and sunk into the couch.

_Nighty night mates!_ Pyro stood above them having hit them both with a shot of knockout gas. He grinned at their unconscious forms and reached into his vest. _I love this job!_

* * *

Meanwhile, Remy finished tinkering in the X-Men's garage and headed back to the mansion. He easily scaled the back wall, flipped onto an empty balcony and casually let himself in. _Not even locked_, Remy mentally tisked. _Pathetic_. He quickly dug out some listening devices and placed them while doing a quick survey. _Must be that Blue Boy's room_, Remy noted pocketing a few choice items before reaching into his trench coat to leave behind a surprise or two. _Well these should complement him then_.

After finishing up Remy silently opened the door, checked to make sure the coast was clear, and stealthily made his way to another room. _Man, this is too easy_. Remy smirked as he placed listening devices, checked out the room's computer, swiped out the hard drive and replaced it with a similar but blank hard drive among the many different ones he carried in his trench coat. _Never hurts to be prepared_, Remy quipped as he fixed the new hard drive to make it look like it had been fried during a power surge. _And they say I could never be a Boy Scout…uh oh!_ Remy heard someone coming down the hall. _Time to hide!_ Remy quickly got up and dashed behind the door a second before it opened.

"Alright! What a great training session!" Scott said as he stepped into his room and shut the door. "Nothing like dodging a few buzzsaws to keep the senses sharp. I'm noticing everything that's going on around me and…ohhhhhh…" Scott gasped and slid to the floor after Remy snuck up behind him and gave him a face full of knockout gas.

_Better keep practicing _homme_. You still got a looonnng way to go_, Remy grinned grabbing Scott's legs and dragging him towards the closet. _Oh, this is gonna be good!_

* * *

Piotr held his breath as he flatted himself behind a decorative column in the hallway while watching Jamie pass by playing a hand held video game. Piotr exhaled and quietly moved to the other side of the column incase Jamie suddenly turned around. _Remy was right. This place is wide open,_ Piotr thought as Jamie absently turned the corner and continued on his way. _No one here is very alert. They don't seem to notice anything…huh?_ Piotr came to a short hallway with a strange looking door at the end. _What could that be?_

Piotr cautiously approached the door and inspected it curiously. _There is no handle or doorknob. What is this?_ Piotr then noticed a pair of buttons next to the door. _Oh, it is an elevator. Must be for Xavier. And it probably leads to the lower levels. No reason to try and place a listening device inside and risk getting caught_, Piotr turned to head back to the main hallway.

"I don't believe this. I left my communicator downstairs again," Someone was heard coming down the hall.

_Uh oh!_ Piotr gulped and realized he was trapped in the short hallway. He couldn't risk getting caught in the elevator and he certainly couldn't try and sneak out into the hall. There was nothing in the bare corridor to hide behind. _There's no place to go!_

"This is getting ridiculous," Jean sighed as she turned the corner and headed for the elevator. She pressed the down button and casually folded her arms. "I need a better place to store that thing. Maybe add a pocket or two to my uniform instead of attaching it to my waist."

Directly above her gripping a reinforcing beam hung Piotr, unsupported by footholds and angled in such a way so that he was practically plastered to the ceiling. _Come on, come on! Hurry up!_ Piotr sweated, forcing himself to remain still while waiting for the elevator to arrive. Only the strength of his arms and chest held him in place. _What is taking so long…oh no!_ Piotr watched in horror as one of the listening devices shook loose from his vest and plunged toward Jean's head.

"Huh?" Jean blinked as she heard the muffled sound of the listening device hitting the hall carpet. She looked down next to her. "Where did that come from? Is that a blackened penny?"

_Argggh, no choice!_ Piotr let go of the beam and reached into his vest for some knockout gas. He set it off just as Jean began to look up.

"What the…ooofff!" Jean collapsed into a heap, partially from being hit with the gas and partially from being hit in the head by Piotr's elbow.

_Oops!_ Piotr fugitively glanced towards the hall, tightly holding his breath and fully expecting to have to fight his way out. After a minute he realized no one had noticed or cared about the sound of him dropping on the floor and turned back towards Jean. He was worried he had badly injured her at first, but was relieved to find his accidental blow had been relatively light. He gave Jean another full shot of knockout gas to make sure she remained unconscious.

_Now, what do I do with her? _Piotr frowned as the elevator finally arrived and opened up. _I can not leave her here, or in the elevator. Or in another room where she could easily be found._ Piotr sighed in resignation as he decided on the safest place to put her while the elevator door closed. He picked up Jean and prepared to climb up to the ceiling once again. _After all, if she did not notice me there, odds are no one will notice her either. Not from what I have observed about them…_

_

* * *

_

_Aha!_ Pyro laughed as he reached the mansion's large kitchen after finishing up in the living room. He immediately went to the stove and oven and inspected them. _Electric? Those cheap galahs!_ He fumed in outrage. _There's only one way to cook and that's with GAS! And flames! Beautiful, beautiful flames!_ He reached into his vest for some goodies and began to attach them to the stove and oven. _Well this'll show them how they outta cook!_

After finishing his work Pyro climbed up onto the counter and placed a listening device on the ceiling. Then he jumped down and started going through the cabinets. _Hey, they got Twinkies here!_ Pyro ripped open a package and took a bite. _I gotta stock up on these! Especially since Mags tends to swipe 'em all for himself. And chocolate cream filled cupcakes too! Yes!_ Pyro crowned as he stuffed as many pocket snacks into his vest as he could. He finished off the Twinkie and eyed the refrigerator for a moment. _Hmmm, what can I do to the ice maker? Ooo, I know…yikes!_ Pyro jolted as he heard footsteps coming down the hall. He quickly rolled and hid underneath the kitchen table.

"Man, this Physics assignment is killing me," Sam groaned as he and Amara entered the kitchen. "I need a break."

"Me too. I can barely understand what they're trying to say in the stupid book, much less try and solve the problems," Amara agreed taking a seat at the table.

"Want a root beer float to help keep you awake?" Sam asked getting out some glasses.

"Sure. That'd be great." Neither of them had noticed Pyro huddled beneath the table, mainly because they weren't looking and in a casual setting, therefore not being very alert.

"Is Kitty around?"

"No. Mr. Logan took her down to take the test for her driver's permit. She's still trying to pass it."

"What is it? Her fourth try?"

"More like her sixth."

_This is not good,_ Pyro gulped with Amara's legs resting just inches from his face. _Maybe I can sneak out while they're eating and…ahhh!_ He jumped and nearly banged his head as Sam took a seat across from Amara.

"Here ya go."

"Thanks Sam. Mmm, that's good."

_Oh no! __What do I do? What do I do?_ Pyro snuck a quick peek out from underneath the table. _Hey, it's that shelia that makes fire! Maybe we can talk! No! Mags said we couldn't get caught! Dang it! I gotta get outta here before they notice me. What do I do? Wait, I got it!_ Pyro pulled out a lighter and rubbed a hand against Amara's ankle.

"What the?" Amara yelped in surprise. "Sam, stop it."

"Huh? What did I do?" Sam blinked, confused.

"You know. Stop trying to play footise with me," Amara kicked his shin.

"Ow! Hey, I don't know what you're…ahhh!" Sam yelped and jumped up with his pant leg on fire. Pyro had used Amara's shout to quietly light his lighter and direct the flame at Sam's pants. "Yeow! That hurts!"

"Serves you right…whoa!" Amara gasped as Sam frantically tried to slap the small fire out, but it refused to die thanks to Pyro focusing on it. "Oh no! Did I do that?"

"Put it out! Put it out!" Sam yelled stumbling backwards. He tripped over his own feet, accidentally activated his powers and went flying out the door. "Ahhhhhh!"

CRASH!

"Ooofff," Sam moaned as he lay draped inside the latest hole in the wall.

"Sam!" Amara ran over and knelt down next to him. "Sam! I'm sorry! I must have burned you by accident! Are you okay"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sam blinked and rubbed his leg, his pants fire having gone out. Neither of them noticed Pyro slip out of the kitchen and scamper off down the hall.

_Whew! That was close!_ Pyro sighed as he ducked around a corner. _Too bad I couldn't stay and talk to that shelia any. Oh well, maybe next time._

* * *

_Ah, finally another _femme's_ boudoir,_ Remy smiled as he slid into a bedroom and quietly closed the door. After leaving Scott gagged, tied up and booby-trapped in his closet Remy had skillfully made his way through the mansion's many bedrooms, "acquiring" what he wished while leaving behind listening devices and other fun surprises (not to mention tinkering with one of Xavier's spare wheelchairs). He had also managed to sneak up on and take out an unsuspecting Evan, leaving him in a similar, but not exact, situation as Scott. Remy repeated his previous performance on a few more resident's computers, but not before browsing through some of the files. _That red head isn't so much of a Goody Two Shoes as she seems,_ Remy shuddered slightly. _Especially if she's into that kind of stuff…hello!_ Remy grinned as he spied the goth makeup kit and pair of gloves lying on the dresser. _This has to be Rogue's room! Oh the possibilities…_

Remy went about placing listening devices while checking out the room. He skimmed over the piles of unfinished homework and bookshelves, frowning at the sight of a published copy of one of Pyro's novels sitting on a nightstand near the bed. _It's nothing. You're reading too much into it_, Remy assured himself as he thought about what to check out next. _Hmmm, closet or dresser drawers. Decisions, decisions…_

"For the last time Kurt, you've got two minutes to get outta the shower!" Rogue's angry voice was heard shouting in the hallway. "After that I'm coming in whether you're done or not!"

_Uh oh!_ Remy panicked and quickly dove beneath the bed.

"Arrrggghhh!" Rogue vented as she stomped into the room and slammed the door behind her. Her uniform was stained and torn in several places. "I hate it when it's my turn to clean out the Danger Room after a training session! Especially a long training session when the stupid robots spill motor oil everywhere."

_Please don't look under here_, Remy prayed as he lay tucked under the bed while trying not to sneeze. _For the love of mike please don't look under here!_

"Ugh, I can't wait to get outta this stuff and take a shower," Rogue grumbled as she removed her boots and began to get undressed.

_Just wait until she leaves. She'll be gone in a…huh?_ Remy blinked as Rogue's upper uniform hit the floor. _No way. Is she…?_

Whump! A pair of pants came next.

_She is!_ Remy's eyes grew huge as a light sports top dropped down onto the discarded clothes. _This can't be happening! I must be dreaming!_

Pufff! What could only be the last article of clothing to touch Rogue's skin landed on the floor.

_I'm not dreaming_. Remy struggled to control his breathing as he watched Rogue's bare feet move to one side of the room. _I can't miss this!_

"Where are those loose fitting sweat clothes?" Rogue mumbled while searching through a laundry pile.

_Come on, come on!_ Remy craned his neck as he tried to look out from beneath the bed while still remaining hidden. _Just another inch and…_

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Rogue! I'm out!" Kurt shouted from the hallway. "Shower is all yours!"

"About time!" Rogue found the sweats she was looking for and quickly slipped them on. She grabbed a clean set of clothes and headed out the door. "Hot shower here I come!"

Remy had shot back under the bed when he heard Kurt knock and had twisted his neck so that it was stuck at an odd angle. _Ow, that hurts!_ Remy winced as he gradually came out of his hiding place. He slowly began to massage his neck while gazing longingly at the door. _So close. I was so close!_

FOOOOOOM!

"AAAHHHHHH!" Kurt was heard screaming in the direction of his bedroom. "WHAT THE? WHO PUT A SHAVING CREAM TRAP IN MY ROOM? AND WHY IS IT DYED PINK?"

_Looks like it's time to go_, Remy sighed as he headed for the window. _And I didn't even get a chance to place anything in the bathrooms. Oh well._

"KURT! I TOLD YOU I'M GONNA TAKE A SHOWER!" He heard Rogue scream in rage followed by Kurt's yelp. "GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I PUT YOU THROUGH A WALL!"

_Well, at least some of the shaving cream managed to get in there_, Remy smirked as he skillfully dropped to the ground. _That boy should really be more careful about where he teleports_.

"Remy?" Piotr whispered while crouching beneath a window. "There you are. Did anyone see you?"

"Please," Remy scoffed and knelt next to Piotr. "Like I'd ever let **that** happen."

"Ooof!" Pyro emerged from the window and nearly fell on top of them. "Hey there mates. All done?"

"Yeah. Let's get outta here," Remy said as he led them back into the woods.

"Boy, that was great," Pyro giggled as they headed back toward the outer wall using a slightly different path than before. "Can we set off all the stuff we planted yet?"

"Almost. Let's hook up with Sabes and make sure everything is working first," Remy led them around a surveillance camera mounted to a tree.

"What was all the shouting I heard when you came out?" Piotr asked. "I thought you said you were not spotted."

"I wasn't. Someone just stumbled across one of the surprises I left. No big deal," Remy waved as they reached the outer wall.

"About time," Sabertooth growled as the other Acolytes came up. "What took you fools so long? Did you stub your toes or something?"

"How about you cool off and go jump in the pool?" Remy snapped and knelt down next to a small transmitting unit Sabertooth had set up. The unit was about half the size of a shoebox and had a miniature satellite dish coming out of it. "Everything set?"

"Yeah. All their lines are tapped. So is everything on the roof. I also went around and planted a few listening devices on their obstacle course and a little gazebo I found out there," Sabertooth grunted.

"Great, now to test them," Remy grinned and pulled out a handheld receiver. The transmitting unit processed all the data sent by the various surveillance devices via low frequency microwaves and powered the devices in the same way, thus rendering them very difficult to detect. It then sent all the data to one of Magneto's personal satellites using a more powerful signal which directed it back to the Acolyte base. Since the transmitting unit was positioned relatively far from the mansion, it was highly unlikely to be traced or discovered.

Remy turned on the receiver and flipped through the frequencies. "Okay, looks good. The receiver is picking up everything. Now to make sure the bugs work," Remy gave Pyro a wicked look. "Hit it!"

"Here we go!" Pyro pulled out a strange looking remote and began to press buttons.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"AAAHHHHHH! WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SILLY STRING?" Bobby's voice was heard shouting through the receiver.

"THERE'S TOILET PAPER SHOOTING ALL OVER THE HALLWAY!" Amara was heard yelling next.

POW! CRACK! WHIZZZZZZ! FIZZLE! EEEEEEEEEEEE! TSSSEEEWWW! TSSSEEEWWW! TSSSEEEWWW!

"YAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE'RE FIREWORKS EVERYWHERE!" Kurt wailed over the dozens of explosions going on in the background. "YEOOOWWW! MY TAIL!"

"Ohhh, what happened…WHAT THE? WHO TOOK OUR CLOTHES? AND WHY ARE WE BRIGHT ORANGE?" Ray yelped.

"HEY! MY FACE IS GLUED TO THE TV! AND MY HANDS!" Roberto shrieked.

"ME TOO! HELP!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Pyro cackled as he listened to the fruits of their labor. "Oh, I wish I could've seen the looks on their faces!"

"You did that?" Piotr stared at him.

"Yep. Oh, don't worry. I left their boxers on. But I did go and lace 'em with itching powder first!" Pyro giggled.

"Good one," Remy praised. "But I bet my stuff tops that!

POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!

"GAHHHHHH! GLITTER BOMBS! AND IT'S GETTING IN MY FUR!" Kurt howled in outrage.

"HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS?" Sam shouted. "THEY'RE ALL GONE!"

"SCOTT! WHERE ARE YOU? EVERYTHING IS GOING NUTS AND…**HOLY COW!**" Bobby cried. "HEY, SOMEBODY TIED UP SCOTT AND HUNG HIM UPSIDE-DOWN IN HIS CLOSET!"

"MMMMMMFFF!"

"Hold on man, I'll get you down in a second…"

FOOOOOOF!

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Gee, guess that boy should've checked for smoke bombs first," Remy grinned.

"Oooh, nice one!" Pyro marveled.

"Not bad," Sabertooth chuckled. "No wonder you guys were in there so long."

"Did you set up anything?" Pyro asked.

"Well, I did manage to slip inside some kind of greenhouse while I was on the roof," Sabertooth shrugged.

"Did you trash all the plants?" Remy inquired.

"Nope," Sabertooth replied. "I went and sprinkled 'em all with powdered magnesium."

"Huh?" Remy blinked. "What's that supposed to do?"

FA-WWWAAAPPPPPP!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Several of the mansion's highest windows blew out and began to emit smoke, along with Ororo's piercing screams.

"It makes it interesting for anyone attempting to water them for one thing," Sabertooth grinned. "That'll teach that weather witch a thing or two!"

"FIRE! FIRE!" Ororo yelled in panic.

"WHERE ARE MY TWINKIES? WHO TOOK MY TWINKIES?" Hank screamed in fury over the receiver.

"WHO CARES? FIND BOBBY SO HE CAN PUT THESE FIRES OUT!"

"HAS ANYBODY SEEN JEAN? IT'S LIKE SHE'S DISAPPEARED!" Amara yelled.

"THERE'S SHAVING CREAM ALL OVER THE UPPER LANDING!" Jamie called out.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"THAT CAME FROM THE PROFESSOR'S ROOM!" Sam shouted. "HEY, DIDN'T HE KEEP A PAIR OF SILVER CANDLESTICKS IN HERE…AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh, yeah. I'd say things are working just fine," Remy smirked and patted his trench coat.

"Did you have to do all that?" Piotr asked. "What if someone gets hurt?"

"Don't worry. Most of the stuff is pretty small," Pyro waved. "They'll be fine."

"SCOTT ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"DO I **LOOK** ALRIGHT?" Scott screamed. "HEY! I CAN'T REMOVE MY SHADES! THEY'RE GLUED TO MY FACE!"

KA-BOOOOOOM!

"OH GREAT! NOW THE KITCHEN'S ON FIRE!" Kurt cried.

"MY TWINKIES! NOOOOOO!" Hank wailed.

"FORGET YOUR TWINKIES! PUT OUT THE FIRE!"

"LOOK OUT! IT'S HEADING FOR THE STREAMS OF TOILET PAPER!"

"Man, this is priceless," Remy grinned. "I wonder when they'll find that other guy I ran into."

"Oooh, what did you do to that one?" Pyro asked.

"Oh, just covered him with purple dye and duct taped him upside-down to the back of his bedroom door," Remy said casually. "And rigged a few more smoke bombs around him."

"JEAN WHERE ARE YOU?"

POP! POP! POP! SNAP! CRACKLE! CRACKLE!

"AAARRRGGGHHH! SOMEBODY PUT FIRECRACKERS IN THE COUCH CUSHIONS!"

"WILL YOU PEOPLE GET OVER HERE AND UNGLUE US FROM THE TV?"

"WHAT THE? THERE'S FOAM COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER HEAD!" Rogue screamed. "HEY I CAN'T TURN IT OFF! AAAHHHHHH!"

"So that's where that water main leads to," Pyro scratched his head.

"How did you do that?" Remy asked.

"You're not the only one with trade secrets," Pyro grinned.

CRASH!

"LOOK OUT! ONE OF THE PROFESSOR'S WHEELCHAIRS HAS GONE MAD! IT'S RUNNING AMOK EVERYWHERE!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"UUUUUUGGGHHH! THE DINING ROOM IS FULL OF STINK BOMBS!"

"HEY! ALL THE JEWELS FROM ONE OF THE HALL'S VASES ARE MISSING!"

"THE BROTHERHOOD MUST BE BEHIND ALL THIS! I'LL KILL 'EM! I'LL KILL 'EM!" Scott screamed in fury.

"Hey! He's blaming those other blokes for our work!" Pyro fumed. "I'm insulted!"

"Let him. As long as they don't suspect us," Remy glanced at the transmitting unit and turned off the handheld receiver. "Well, things are winding down and everything seems to be stable. Let's hide this thing and get outta here."

"Yes, before something else happens," Piotr sighed and began to camouflage the unit.

"But what about the rest of this stuff?" Pyro held up the remaining goodies in his vest. "I still have some shaving cream and superglue to use up!"

"Don't worry _homme_. We'll stop someplace on the way back and put it to good use," Remy said. "Maybe hit the high school. And any of the staff that goes in on weekends.

"Yeah. And they'll probably end up blaming the X-Men for it! Let's go!" Pyro cheered as the Acolytes began to head out.

"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Scott's apoplectic screams were heard clear throughout the surrounding neighborhood.

"Man, if he thinks the mansion's bad wait till he see what I did to their cars," Remy snickered.

******

* * *

****Disclaimer: ****I do not own X-Men: Evolution.**


End file.
